Originally posted October 19, 2007 to Myspace.  Don’t ask me where part one is.

A few weeks ago, I got a message from a local guy saying “Hey there.  I saw that you lived in Ringgold and that you were gay, and I thought you might want to chat some time.  Holler back.”  So, I checked his profile.  He was a cute guy, but I noticed he had no real interests listed on his page.  So, I sent him a message back that I sent him a friend request (I thought it was odd he didn’t send one).  I asked him to tell me about himself, what his hobbies were, etc.  He responded with, “well I like hanging out, and grilling and stuff.  So, what about you?  How long have you been out?”  Ok, apparently this is the type of cat whose idea of a good time is….grilling?  What the hell?  For the life of me, I couldn’t figure out why this guy started messaging me.  Finally, he decided to hit me up on Yahoo messenger one day.  When I asked what he was doing (something I tend to do first thing in an IM session) he responded, “Well, I woke up feeling really horny and I thought I’d take care of that before I went to bed.”  I played it off with a “oh, right.  I’ve been there.  Yeah.”  Then he started asking me questions.  “So, tell me about yourself.”  I told him things that I had told him and were listed on my profile, because that was kind of a stupid question.  Then he asked me what I was into.  When I asked him what he meant, he responded “You know, sexually?”  After telling him I had no experience he asked me “So, how big’s your cock?”    I told him that too (felt no reason to shy away from it.), then I suppose he ran out of questions or didn’t like my answer because he then said “Well, it’s been nice talking to you, but I’d better go.  Good night.”

This brings me to the point of my blog:  WHAT THE FUCK?  I never get any fucking hits to my page and the ONE time I do, it’s some asshole looking for someone desparate enough to give him a free fuck.  Jesus, where did the romance go?  Was it even there to begin with?  I’ve read other blogs and things that talk about how promiscuous gay people are rumored to be.  I’m starting to think it’s not just a rumor.  Now, I know everyone’s different, and I even have gay friends that have found LOVE, not just hookups.  But, every site I go to seems catered to people meeting discreetly in some seedy motel and spreading their love juice.  I don’t get it.  I mean, I’m a virgin and I get a bit insecure about that.  I mean, what if I meet the right guy and I fuck it up by fucking wrong?  This makes me wonder, is that what those random hookups are for?  Do you HAVE to play the field before you hit the major leagues?  I mean, should I have told this guy “Ok, you wanna have some fun?  Meet me at…”  I wonder if I’ve been going about this whole gay relationship thing all wrong…