Originally posted to Myspace on October 13, 2007. The main reason I’m re-posting this one is because the place shut down after we went. There hasn’t been one since (If you try to click the link to the site, there’s not even anything there). 😦
God, my head was fucking killing me last night. It was otally worth it though, because it was caused by the Edge of Madness. Me and my cousin have been planning a trip to this thing for about a month, and finally got to go. When we first got in, there was a band playing called Platypus Rex. Great name (I think they got it from Namor), pretty mediocre group. You know all those local bands that sound almost exactly the same? Yeah, they were one of them. After getting bored with them, we went in the first attraction, the Factory….of DOOM (or something like that). I don’t remember much about it, except that we were chased out of there by guys wielding chainsaws. I laughed, because my cousin practically dragged me out of there running.
After that, we noticed the next band was still playing (they had started while we were waiting in line). Then, we realized they were playing “One More Fix” by Ministry. We RAN back to the cage they were playing in and caught the tail end of that song. The band’s called Amadeus St. Vistus and I added them to my friends list. They’re pretty badass. This area could use more death metal. While they played, we grabbed some nachos (which, combined with death metal, makes for a great evening combo). When their set ended, we headed toward the Edge Cinema.
We waited in line for a good 30 minutes to an hour, but it wasn’t that bad. There were performers on stage doing a rendition of “Time Warp” from the Rocky Horror Picture Show. And there were random dudes with chainsaws chaising people around. Also, there was one chick dressed up as an undead hobo (I think). She appeared right next to us like a ninja, and a group of annoying bitch girls started going on about her. “Oh my gawd. That’s SO clearly a guy in that.” When she said that, Ms. Zombie Hobo grabbed her chest, showing she was, indeed, a lady zombie hobo. Unfortunately, this wasn’t good enough for redneck valley girl bitch, who proceeded to grab Ms. Zombie Hobo’s breast. “Oh…yeah. They’re real.” She said, clamming up. Ms. Zombie Hobo just stuck her tongue out and went on her way.
Finally, we got in the “theatre.” Several rows of seats were there, and we went into the back corner (because they were the only open ones left). Random scenes from horror movies played on the screen, as everyone in the room chatted amongst themselves. Two of the characters from Rocky Horror (whose names I can’t fucking remember offhand. I need to watch that again) were guiding people into the next room, and entertaining the people still waiting. They asked for volunteers, and a couple of the guys from Amadeus St. Vistus hopped up and tried to learn the time warp dance. When it was almost time for us, one of the characters hopped up on the seat in front of me, stretched his arms out, and said “Ah, my long lost father.” I was too busy laughing to come up with a response.
Finally, we were called back into the main part of the theatre. The place is practically a maze, with each room set up like a famous horror movie. I don’t really wanna give anything away here, but it had ones from Hellraiser, Halloween, Nightmare on Elm Street, Friday the 13th, and Silent Hill (complete with nurses!). It ended with the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. All in all, this was my favorite fucking thing there. All the attention to detail was spot on. And some of the tricks they pulled off actually made some of it a bit creepy. After that, we checked out the haunted mansion (which had some cool too, but not as much as the others), then headed out.
I really enjoyed the hell out of myself at this thing. It was well worth the 25 bucks. In fact, I’m thinking about going back next weekend. Anyone wanna tag along?