Jesus Christ, what did I eat before going to bed? Oh right, cheeseburger mac and cheese with some peanut butter and jelly for dessert. …What? Don’t judge me! That’s neither here nor there! Shut up, I have a dream to tell you about!
It started with me listening to some System of a Down in my room. After turning off iTunes, I noticed I could still hear the same song, this time coming from my living room. I exit my room, and look out to see there’s a concert happening in my living room. System of a Down is playing a concert in my living room. I take a minute to let that sink in, before going fucking NUTS. I dance my way into the crowd and start singing along with the music as loud as I can. About this point, I realize noone in the audience is doing the same thing, and I get a lot of weird looks (including some from the band).
The band doesn’t seem like they want to be there. Not much is put into their performance. I’m a bit disappointed by this, but not exactly surprised. The band only recently got back together after splitting up, so I could see them not being super excited about having to tour with each other again. During the show, my parents yell at me from outside. I try to ignore them (afraid they’ll embarrass me in front of my favorite band, I guess), but that only makes them yell LOUDER. I quickly run outside to see what they want and they inform me they are going to get food, and ask me what I want. I feel bad about the embarrassment as I take them up on their offer. When I turn around to go back inside, I notice the band also walking inside (I suppose they took a break?). As I walk up the steps, Serj offers me a hand. As he pulls me up, I say “Thanks, brother.” I’m fanboying pretty hard at this point.
Everyone gets back in their positions, as I continue standing next to Serj. He says something to the crowd, as an audio clip plays over the speakers. “This is a little song I did with a band called Dog Fashion Disco.” The song Mushroom Cult begins to play in the background as he continues talking. “Yes, the lead singer of this band will be appearing on my new album, along with…” he lists off other musicians and Larry The Cable Guy. The crowd boos at this revelation, but he seems to laugh it off. The dream ends here, and I wake up sweating. Larry The Cable Guy appearing on a Serj Tankian album would probably be the last thing anyone hears before Hell itself opens up and we’re all ass-raped to death by cacodemons.