Originally posted to Myspace on September 2, 2007.

Happy Labor Day, everyone. Normally, I generally wouldn’t think of Labor Day as a real holiday. But this year, I’m actually working a job that lets employees off for this most festive time of year. So, what are you supposed to do for Labor Day? Give gifts? Like, if you know a construction worker, do you buy him a hammer? Or get an office worker a pencil? Maybe we’re supposed to decorate. Perhaps one of those same crappy banners you use whenever Judith finally retires from her shitty secretary job? And since it’s Labor Day, do we have to make all the food from scratch? Say, we have to raise the livestock ourselves, just so we can slaughter them on this most holy of occasions. And we also have to grow our own vegetables, then pick them for this most special day.

…I take it all back. FUCK Labor Day. Pick your own goddamned vegetables, the government!