Originally posted Wednesday, August 29, 2007 to Myspace.
I was watching G4 the other night. For those unimformed, G4 is a channel “dedicated” to video gamers. Late at night they run Cinematech, a show that shows nothing but scenes from random games. Me and John try to catch it whenever we can. It’s odd, because almost immediately after midnight, the commercials change. Instead of the normal ads for Skittles, Mountain Dew, various video games, and other stuff catered to nerds, they run ads for things like cell phones, phone sex, penis enlargement, college loans, and work-from-home kits. So….G4 is trying to tell me that I need a cell phone, so I can call bitches for phone sex, but when they wanna hook up in real life, I’ll be so insecure that I need penis enlargement. Then, when things get serious, she’ll pressure me to go to college. After I flunk out of that, I’ll need money to pay off those loans and to support our crack-baby, so I’ll start working from home. Thanks G4! Now I have a plan for the future!