I haven’t mentioned this in the blog, but my hotel finally hired an extra night auditor to work with me on the weekends.  He’s a real cool dude; we’ve spent most nights watching episodes of Clone High and Spaced.  Last night, we finished up the first Evening With Kevin Smith DVD.  It makes the night go by a LOT faster.

We were a bit annoyed last night, because for a Sunday (the slowest night of the week), there were a ton of interruptions.  Mostly from one old white lady.  I was sitting further inside the back office, and would pause the DVD if anyone popped up in the lobby. Whoever walked past would see him, but wouldn’t see me unless I popped my head out, so she got his attention first. He went out to see what was up and I just waited inside (No point in us both going out to talk to one person. Makes me feel like we’re ganging up on someone). She started talking. And talking. And talking. She went on for few minutes, before I started to really catch the conversation. The lady said something along the lines of “Yeah, I have a kid of just about every ethnicity. I have a white one, a black one, an Asian one. I even went to Iraq and had one of those.” My co-worker just kept saying “Yeah?” to everything to kinda give her the hint that he wasn’t interested. It didn’t work.

“You know that one guy in Iraq? Uh…Saddam Hussein? Yeah, he’s my grandad.” “…Huh,” my co-worker managed to get out. I had to restrain myself from laughing (mainly because I didn’t want to attract her attention). After this, I hear the lady say something about her car being so far away and she asks him something else. I realize what it is when he pokes his head in to say “I’ll be right back.” He has to pull her car around for her.

After seeing her off, he comes back in and just rolls his eyes at me. “Wow” is about all I could muster. “Yeah, she’s…special” he says. “Oh, how could you tell?” I jokingly ask. “…you didn’t hear her say she peed on herself?” I come to a stop. About this point, I start feeling really bad. See, there’s the normal “Obama put stuff in our cereal to eat our brains” crazy, and then there’s “Oh, I forgot how to work my digestive system” crazy. It made me wonder why she was by herself…and how she was allowed to drive for that matter.

I wondered that even more when the lady came back. Once again, my co-worker is the first one she sees and he has to go help her. This time, he has to park her car and help her to her room. He asks her if she has her room key on her, and she says that it’s in her purse. He walks her up to her room and comes back down a few minutes later. “Why would you say you have your room key if you have no idea where it is?” he quips while he makes a copy. I wonder out loud if she’s even staying at our hotel at that point. He double checks and it seems like she is, so he goes BACK up to open the door for her.

He comes back down once again, and immediately says “Tell me why she about half pooped herself when I got back up?” I wonder again why she’s by herself (especially since the first time she said she was going to her daughter’s to change pants), and he responds “All I know is…I’m just glad she didn’t ask me to help wipe.”